To properly celebrate Earth Day I drove a Smart Fourtwo home yesterday.


Okay, you got me. The vehicle rotation list came to me and this car was available, so I took it. That I was driving it on Earth Day didn't even occur to me until I was halfway home.


What did occur to me is that this car has even more issues than I thought after my last stint behind the wheel. At that time I knew the transmission sucked and wind tended to buffet it around, but now I've found more reasons to call the Smart dumb.


Dumb Gauge Cluster: First of all, where's the tach?! I know we're all stupid Americans with no driving passion whatsoever. Certainly that's part of the reason why Smart doesn't even offer a manual in this car. But I can't remember the last time I drove a car without a tachometer. And don't tell me it's a cost-saving move. Even a $10,000 Kia Rio has a tach (also two more doors and a rear seat, plus it still manages 25/35 mpg). Yeah, you can get a tach if you pay $120 for the "Additional Instruments" package, but on the Rio (and Accent, and almost every other car sold in this country) a tach comes standard.


Dumb Transmission: I've already harped on this, but it deserves a revisit simply because the transmission is just that bad. The hesitation/head toss between gears is one thing, and I was prepared for it. But the grinding/lurching sensation everytime you come to a full stop and then try to move forward again had faded from memory -- probably because my drive was mostly traffic-free last time around. This time I was caught in stop-and-go conditions for 20 minutes on PCH, and they were quite painful. I can't believe this transmission made it past the early-development stage.


Dumb Seat/Armrest: The seats are actually pretty good in the Smart, at least in terms of comfort and support. They are properly contoured and covered in plush cloth (the same material covers the dash and door panels, giving the cabin an upscale look and feel). HOWEVER, there's no armrest, and like every modern short/tall car (short in terms of overall length but tall in terms of seating position and roof height), you feel a bit "propped up" in the Smart -- because you are. That's still okay, as long as you also feel well supported, and that requires an armrest. And unlike the tach, this item ain't on the options list. With the tiny space between the front seats I don't think one would fit, anyway. But if you've got a bum right shoulder (maybe, for example you've dislocated it several times in the past 15 years) this might be a very big deal to you.


After 100 additional miles in the car it's clear to me who should buy it. People who have serious parking-space issues. For everyone else, it's a dumb car. 