If you were to stick to strict rationality when buying a car, we'd all own Priuses or minivans or the inexplicably absent Prius minivan. It would be a boring world. We don't need twin-turbo V12s, Ferrari Scuderias or leather-lined, reclining, heated, cooled and massaging rear seats with DVD entertainment systems, but darn it, we want them. Cars have always been more of an emotional purchasing decision than a rational one.




Yet, there are certain cars that utterly defy any pittance of rationality. Cars we scratch our heads at. Cars we can't fathom why any sane person with sufficient information at their disposal would buy one. Cars that are simply a poor buying decision. This week, two of our editors take a look at two cars they think meet those criteria -- and rather than defend them, they'll be prosecuting. Automotive Editor James Riswick prosecutes the BMW Active Hybrid X6, the first hybrid model to wear the label "Ultimate Driving Machine" and the first with a twin-turbo V8. Vice Admiral of Vehicle Testing Mike Magrath, goes a completely different route and prosecutes the Chrysler Sebring.






Opening Statements


James Riswick v. the BMW Active Hybrid X6
Thursday night on Project Runway, "top American designer" Michael Kors lambasted one contestant for taking everything that is tacky and sticking it onto one single dress. Ouch. I feel the same way about the BMW Active Hybrid X6. This thing (it defies any common vehicular description) features the trick Two-Mode hybrid system developed by GM, BMW and the company formerly known as DaimlerChrysler. It's a smart piece of technology, but thus far has only been installed into giant trucks. In this case, BMW has connected the Two-Mode system's mind-bogglingly complex transmission to the twin-turbo 4.4-liter V8 found in the X6 xDrive50i. With the added output from two electric motors, the combined power output is 480 horsepower and 575 pound-feet of torque, and it goes from 0-60 in a BMW-estimated 5.4 seconds. That makes it a tenth-of-a-second slower than the non-hybrid, twin-turbo X6. 


But at least it's a hybrid, right? That means it gets great gas mileage. Um, no. How about 17 mpg city, 19 mpg highway and 18 mpg combined? Does 18 mpg sound fuel efficient to you? Perhaps by low-earth orbit rocket standards. By comparison, the gas-powered six- and eight-cylinder models achieve 15/21/17 mpg and 13/18/15 mpg, respectively. If you were to buy the $88,900 Active Hybrid X6 to save fuel versus the $56,500 twin-turbo V6-powered X6 xDrive35i, it would take you 350 years to pay off the price premium. To put that in Star Trek terms (and I so often do) that's only three years before Captain Picard takes command of the fifth starship Enterprise. 


If that's not insane enough, BMW put its twin-turbo V8 hybrid powertrain into one of the most head-scratching models already on sale: the 5,200-pound SUV with a fastback coupe roofline that can't go off-road, can't handle as well as a sport sedan, can't carry much cargo and can't carry five people. I'm still trying to figure out a reason why someone would buy a regular X6, then BMW gives me even more reason to be completely dumbfounded. What has been put into their schnapps?


Mike Magrath v. the Chrysler Sebring
Low hanging fruit, sure, but don't lie, you Googled it just now and were shocked that they still make that thing. Priced at $20,860 there are, according to Edmunds.com. There are 46 vehicles in this car's price range (15-25K). That means in order to walk away with a 173-horsepower rattly Chrysler Sebring, buyers had to actively ignore 44 cars that are significantly better than this. Just to name a few: the Ford Fusion, Honda Accord, Mazda 3 and 6, Kia Forte, Hyundai Sonata, Chevy Malibu, Mitsubishi Galant (yeah, they still make that too) and the now-maligned Toyota Camry. Even with a wonky throttle pedal, I'd take any of these rather than a Sebring.  


Few cars have ever been so poorly engineered and executed immediately out of the gate as to be uncompetitive from Day One. The engines are underpowered and inefficient. The ride and handling balance provides an advantage to neither ride comfort nor handling prowess. The brakes are weak. Stability control is optional. The base automatic has four speeds. The interior looks like a cheap homage to the Chrysler building and its overall quality seems on par with the plastic crate Audi would ship their interiors inside of and then throw away. So maybe Chrysler's recycling, or maybe they just don't care.


The Sebring sedan has been a dismal failure in terms of sales, but unfortunately, thousands of these were still willfully purchased by Americans. Even more Sebring convertibles were sold and in fact, it's routinely the best selling convertible in the United States. But convertible buyers don't matter, right Riz? 


This is terrifying both from a car-reviewers POV where we think we matter, and we assume our experience and time spend driving thousands of cars means something relevant to buyers. But it's also terrifying from a human perspective -- if people aren't on the ball enough to know that a car is this wildly sub-standard, why are we letting them vote for President?


Rebuttals: 


Riswick:
Hmm. Am I now supposed to argue that the Chrysler Sebring isn't a terrible automotive choice? I can't do that. It's like encouraging people to watch Keeping Up The Kardashians. However, I will say that there are three possible reasons someone bought a Sebring. 1) They live next door to a Chrysler dealership and the next closest dealership is in rural Wisconsin. 2) It was the cheapest, yet still big new car they could find. 3) That's what their company/Dollar-Rent-A-Car gave them.


The BMW Active Hybrid X6? You paid almost $90,000 for that thing, which means you passed over just about every car sold -- including any number of other silly hybrid models. Either you did absolutely no research, or you actively decided to make an absolutely imbecilic buying decision.


Magrath:
X6 Active Hybrid? A loser? We live in the same neighborhood, how are we so far apart on this particular car? 


You and I live in an area where your green status sells and by that, of course, I mean both ecological awareness (or visualization thereof) and your bank account. If I were a single guy and had the bankroll, I would, in a heartbeat, own and flaunt this nearly-$100K, completely un-utilitarian SUV with no shame. 


"Yeah I drive a BMW. Hybrid, ya know. Gotta really think about those things these days ... yeah, got nav, too. And 20s. And hybrid stickers. You wanna see it? And my house? Great." It would be that easy. This city is that easy. 


Sure I'd park it when I had to take more than one person out, or had to go to the store, or to well, anywhere. But on Wednesday-to-Sunday nights on Restaurant Row? This car represents a pretty epic win. The Chrysler is never win.
